Jason O. Gilbert

My Complete Portfolio

Wed, 23 Mar 2016 15:55:10 -0400

The New York Times
Ban Santacon

McSweeney’s
President Obama Announces Changes to the NSA

Slate
Exclusive: The Phone Calls Leading up to the Comcast-Time Warner Merger

Quartz
Republican Candidates for President Order a Burrito from Chipotle
Requirements for Living at my Startup Palace
Chris Christie Is Not Running for Prom King
2015: The Year Everyone at the New Yorker Leaves for a Tech Startup
The 2016 Television Schedule, Disrupted
We Are Excited to Announce Our Merger, with Everything
Headlines That Will Inevitably Be Written about Comcast by the End of the Year
I’d Like to Clarify a Few Previous Comments about my War Experience

The Toast
Orthodox Jewish Indie Music Acts

Fusion
A Trend Story about Millennials, by the New York Times
Here’s How This Lion-Killing Dentist Thing Is Going to Play Out
12 Times I Confused the Middle East for New Jersey, Just Like Ben Carson Did
Syrian Refugees? Who’s Next: The Tired, the Poor, and the Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe Free?
By Posting This to Facebook, I Hereby Do NOT Give Mark Zuckerberg Permission to Harvest my Soul
Donald Trump’s First 100 Days

Above Average
Now That Monica Lewinsky Is Back, I Thought You Might Want to Hear from Me, Eagle-Eye Cherry
You’re Telling Me I Can’t Shoot my Burrito at Close Range with a Pistol inside the Chipotle Anymore?

Vulture
Why Silicon Valley is Basically the Anti-Entourage
The Party-Vomit Theory of Silicon Valley
The Real Reason to Watch Cutthroat Kitchen Is the Excellent Writing

Medium
Famous Man Owns the Gadget
Some Personal News
Facebook Releases App
Honey, I Think We Should Consciously Uncouple
Explaining the Hyperloop, in Basic Terms

Random Internet
The Most Honest Craigslist Dog-Walking Ad Ever (covered on The Huffington Post, The Daily Dot, Mother Jones, Someecards, Funny Or Die, and more)

Comedic Poems / Collages
A Poem Composed Entirely of SXSW Panel Titles, Yahoo
A Poem Composed Entirely of Mean Tweets about Donald Trump, Fusion
A Poem Composed Entirely of Verbs Used in Headlines about John Oliver Segments, Fusion
A Horror Story Composed Entirely from Sentences Used in Reviews of the Apple Watch, Yahoo
The Internet, from A To Z, Quartz

A Trend Story about Millennials, by the New York Times

Wed, 23 Mar 2016 15:54:23 -0400

A Trend Story about Millennials, by the New York Times

12 times I confused the Middle East for New Jersey, like Ben...

Wed, 13 Jan 2016 09:10:32 -0500

12 times I confused the Middle East for New Jersey, like Ben Carson did

Fusion

A poem constructed entirely from verbs used in John Oliver video...

Thu, 30 Jul 2015 13:14:21 -0400

A poem constructed entirely from verbs used in John Oliver video headlines

Fusion

Here’s how this lion-killing dentist is going to play outFusion

Thu, 30 Jul 2015 13:11:11 -0400

Here’s how this lion-killing dentist is going to play out

Fusion

Republican Candidates for President Order a Burrito from...

Thu, 09 Jul 2015 12:32:23 -0400

Republican Candidates for President Order a Burrito from Chipotle

Quartz

A Horror Story Constructed Entirely from Actual Sentences in...

Wed, 10 Jun 2015 17:43:25 -0400

A Horror Story Constructed Entirely from Actual Sentences in Reviews of the Apple Watch

Yahoo

Orthodox Jewish Indie Music ActsThe Toast

Wed, 10 Jun 2015 17:39:27 -0400

Orthodox Jewish Indie Music Acts

The Toast

EXCLUSIVE: The Secret Calls Leading Up to the Comcast–Time...

Wed, 10 Jun 2015 17:22:53 -0400

EXCLUSIVE: The Secret Calls Leading Up to the Comcast–Time Warner Deal

Slate

A Poem Composed Entirely of SXW Panel TitlesYahoo

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:44:12 -0400

A Poem Composed Entirely of SXW Panel Titles

Yahoo

Silicon Valley Is the Anti-EntourageVulture

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:42:09 -0400

Silicon Valley Is the Anti-Entourage

Vulture

Ban SantaconThe New York Times

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:35:19 -0400

Ban Santacon

The New York Times

Some Personal NewsThe Message

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:31:33 -0400

Some Personal News

The Message

Poem: Uber for XQuartz

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:29:03 -0400

Poem: Uber for X

Quartz

President Obama Announces Changes to the NSAMcSweeney’s

Sun, 07 Jun 2015 17:25:18 -0400

President Obama Announces Changes to the NSA

McSweeney’s

I Tested a Bluetooth-Enabled, App-Connected Toothbrush, and Boy...

Thu, 04 Jun 2015 17:24:31 -0400

I Tested a Bluetooth-Enabled, App-Connected Toothbrush, and Boy Are My Teeth Disrupted!

Yahoo

I Will Walk Your DogCraigslist

Fri, 03 Apr 2015 00:00:00 -0400

I Will Walk Your Dog

Craigslist